Recently, God has been talking to me more and more about fear, in my bible readings.
Most people who know me, would probably say i'm not the fearful type. And i would agree, i cant really think of all that many things that i am scared of. And usually I'm not scared to approach and talk to people.
So why is it that I fail miserably to follow Christ's final commandment: The 'Great Commission'.
"Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation" Mark 16v15
Sure pretty much all my friends know i'm a christian. But i know for a fact that they dont all know the gospel, or worse dont understand it.
While listening to one of my favourite speakers, I heard something very interesting, which was quite hard to swallow.
Fear is another form of Pride.
At first i was like, pffft, what are you on about. Fear isnt pride... it's fear, it's being scared.
But then I came across this passage which really stuck out to me, in John chapter 12 verse 42 to 43. Now what has been happening is that Jesus has been performing miracles and people have been believing that he is the Christ (which has become dangerous at this point in time, because the pharisees have now got a price on his head). And so we read...
"Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than the praise from God."
Now a bit of bible context, if you're put out of the synagogue, you are a social reject. You're not 'in' anymore, you are both physically and socially 'out'. No-one wants to be a social reject, but i think the important part here is the motive as to why they would rather stay silent. It's not merely because they're afraid of admitting they believe Jesus is the Messiah. It is because they loved human praise more than the praise from God.
And isnt that the perfect definition of pride?
Have you ever wondered how God can command us time and time again not to be scared? A quick search on biblegateway says that the phrase 'Do not be afraid' appears over 100 times! I used to think that we shouldnt be scared because we should always remember that God is bigger and in control, and of course that is true. But i'm starting to wonder if maybe this whole 'do not fear' thing goes deeper than that.
I think if i had to choose what my greatest spiritual weakness was, (even before this post) i would have said it was pride. Not arrogance, but pride. I'm very prone to be proud of who I am and what I have achieved in my life. Proud of my intelligence, my skills, my confidence. All the things that I can't take credit for. All the things that were a gift from God himself, and should be used to glorify him, instead of myself.
And so it would seem that ultimately, my struggle with actively sharing the gospel is all down to pride. Much as i hate to admit it. But half the battle is knowing the problem, and so I have peace in knowing that something can be done about it with the help of God.
ahh phew
So how does one stop being proud?
Well, if pride is all about self-preservation, and big-ing yourself up, I guess the way you stop being proud is by doing the opposite. And so here is a nice diagram...
Self-preservation ~ Selflessness
Big-ing yourself up ~ Humility
In other words:
Pride ~ Love

(Here's some original art work from yours truly)